Lesley’s Blog

Sun standing still is the literal meaning of solstice. For thousands of years, all over the world, indigenous people have celebrated the sun in at it highest peak. When does modern woman/man ever take time to stand still under the sun? Yet, that is exactly what I was drawn to do this Summer Solstice. My shamanic work, has been leading me to explore soul loss at a deeper level. The lure of dedicating the solstice to journeying and journal in the natural world compelled me. I arranged to camp the night before at a small state park that is located on a remote mountain side. The plan was to spend the solstice in a place where the sun could be seen at the start of day, felt on my face at midday and observed as it set at end of day. For protection from the rain that threatened, I chose to camp in a lean-to, the forest that surrounds it would give privacy for silent reflections or song of joy.

Sunday afternoon, I spent my time in a place that is often described as Brigadoon; better know as Coolidge Homestead a village frozen in time. My mind was filled with living in the late 1800’s as I photographed the town for a possible book idea. By early evening, I was settled before the fire reading a book. As darkness fell, the quiet was disturbed by three loud motorcycles returning to their lean-to down the hill directly in front of me.

My annoyance built as they revved the engines before shutting them down. The air filled with expletives from their loud voices, an invasion I was not prepared for. Just when I thought things would quiet down, one man prowled the woods looking for firewood. The motorcycle engine noises sounded again as the bikes were moved in front of the lean-to. The man, who had been looking for wood was now making his way up the hill in the dark next to my site.

Fear and anger sprang up inside of me as I fumed, “What was he doing in the dark so close to my space?” I had chosen this site for its quiet isolated location and the fact that no one else was camping nearby was an added bonus, now under the veil of night that illusion was shattered. “What were these men doing?” “Where was a ranger when I needed one?” Be Quiet! Stay on your site, my head cried out. At that instant I realized I they were a reflection of the world I left behind. I could calm myself and reclaim my space by standing still.

Holding onto a log, I released the fear I was feeling then fed it to the fire. Breathing deeply I reclaimed my space reminding myself that I had welcomed in the four directions, mother earth and father sky. I had set my intention for the solstice. The invasion of the outside world was lessening its hold on my physical, mental, emotional and spirit purpose for the day to come. The night settled around me once more I let the fire burning bright as I crawled into bed.

An air mattress that has a slow leak is a gamble, a 50/50 chance of still supporting you by morning. So is letting go of things that are not in your control. Delving deeper into soul loss is letting go of the old stories that have played time and time again as you live your life. The opportunity to create a new path is one way to let go of control. Walking into the unknown is a gamble. Will the old support systems still be there or will something new take its place?

Drifting off to sleep I heard the familiar call of the Barred Owl “Who cooks for you? Who cooks for you? Who cooks for you all?” I smiled knowing that I had a friend in high places to watch over me.